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Quotes,
Sayings, Laws and other things people have said or written down. |
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"People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school." -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett) |
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"As far as I'm aware I'm not specifically banned anywhere in the USA, and am rather depressed about it. Surely some of you guys can do something?" -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett) |
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"My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat :-)" -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says 'This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they're an adult simple because they've grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide everything for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up !' -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once. Like the Borg, they learn... -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?' -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| I
staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress
said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time
this was the last thing on my mind...
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| I
didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy
for those who did.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| That
seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans.
A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?"
An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| AFPer:
We've missed you, did you miss us? TP: Yes, but I think I have time to reload. :-) -- Terry returns to a.f.p. after a temporary absence. (Terry Pratchett and an AFPer, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| I
once absend-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant
and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing
and a bottle of chili sauce.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| You
can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people
two hundred years ago "Would you be happy in a world where medical
care is widely available, houses are clean, the world's music and sights
and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, travelling even 100
miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you
don't have to die of dental abcesses and you don't have to do what the squire
tells you" they'd think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and
say 'yes'.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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I must confess the the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occured to him. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| Mind
you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it
is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently
mentioning at least three of them.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| And
before anyone complains about the grammar, I'm so jetlagged that my hands
aren't even in the same time zone...
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. -- Terry defending his solution to the Monty Hall problem. (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| Eight
years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing
can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time
to buy a house on the next continent.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| One
of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through
New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And
you don't get mugged, either.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| It's
an old magical principle -- it's even filtered down into RPG systems --
that magic, while taking a lot of effort, can be 'stored' -- in a staff,
for example. No doubt a wizard spends a little time each day charging up
his staff, although you go blind if you do it too much, of course.
-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
| It's
not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with
the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's American editors.
-- Setting the record straight (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett) |
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